1.30.2015 Check in
I’m sitting by the fire, listening to Neil Young, reflecting on how good my time here in Georgia has been. Saturday I have a interview with Pastor Paul Palmer from The Dream Center. Thank you Pastor Desore for connecting us. I’m so excited!
Pastor Paul rode his Harley from coast to coast to raise 360K for the women rescued from human trafficking and for his ministry. His interview will dovetail nicely with the interviews conducted with The Jubilee Market. I’m excited to see how that shapes up.
Sunday I’m hanging with a video crew filming Jim Stallings and his project (The Listening Wall/Elevation 120) conducting some interviews and readying myself for the journey south. In Jacksonville, I’ll be reassessing equipment needs, getting a root canal (ouch), hiring a off-shore social media guru, scheduling, and finishing up the first few weeks of the 50 Sundays podcast. After that it will be weekly. Video casting will follow.
The amazing thing about this project is how it flows and shapes itself from day to day. Asheville was holy chaos. The project had just started ,and the interviews were disorderly, unlit, and challenged with equipment issues. But it all worked out and I received some awesome sound bites and some much needed confidence to go forward. Many contacts came out of Asheville, and I’m thankful to be circling back to in mid-February to shape up the rest of the footage.
In review:
My time at Symmes Chapel gave me some much needed reflection and pause for a check in with my motives and humility. It was beautiful and dramatic and a perfect lead in to the full-powered South Carolina schedule.
In South Carolina I captured enough footage to kick start the podcast and videocast all in one state, and averaged 5 hours a sleep a night. Deep concerns came out of how quickly I was filling up my SD cards and how difficult and expensive this would be to maintain over time. I came into contact with ex murders, rapists, and thieves – all rescued in prison, by the blessed Redeemer, Christ Jesus. I came in contact with severe mercy and grace and was constantly astonished and in tears from the fierce love and power to change in their affirmative testimonies. I also gave my first talk. I met my first celebrity (on this project). I made new friends.
By the time I reached the Stallings household, I was frazzled, with a tooth ache and ready for some rooted family style hospitality. Now…
My new friends in Georgia are two empty nesters deeply involved with their church, with a big house and a big dog. A few years ago they lost their son to cancer.
I’ve had my own room, a fire to sit by and an opportunity to work on my data concerns. Monday I worked with Verizon to the sounds of blues guitar coming from the basement studio, while I grinned from ear to ear. Tuesday I built out my data transfer kit, and jotted down the next phase on paper.
By the third day, Debbie fixed me a dinner that consisted of fabulous mushroom stroganoff with flax seed noodles. Afterwards, she said, “It’s like you’ve been here all along, you just blend right in.” I thanked her. I thanked God. I’m so grateful that I can move in and out of peoples homes with care and flexibility and be so trusted and accepted. I walk the dog, tend the fire and wash the dishes. It all helps. Thank you mom and dad for instilling in me a hard work ethic and house holding skills.
(((As I write this, Miss D, a big pit-bull mix, sits on the ottoman with her back legs stretched out, watching Mr. Ed. She moans if she misses one minute of her favorite show. It’s too cute. )))
Before arriving here, I had voiced my concerns to Jim that I wanted to know more about adjusting the settings of my camera, creating depth of field, and working with multiple angles. It just so happens, Jim’s friend is a videographer, who is shooting a music-video-interview piece Sunday where I’ll be hanging out, learning and taking my own video. The Lord provides.
I’ve had the following conversation with multiple people, who reaffirm that I’m not just lost in wishful-thinking. I didn’t have this all figured out before I took my first step on this project. But I knew, somehow, that if I kept God at the center of my efforts, people, places, things and timelines would align to support my intent. I just had this feeling that I wouldn’t be left in a time of need. I write all this, because so far, this has been true to form. Doors open just when they need to, and divine appointments make or break in ways that don’t make sense from my limited perspective, but so far have worked out for the continuance of the project. I don’t question when things slow down, I look around and think, what do I need to catch up on? I do the work, and the next step reveals itself. When things speed up, I pray, show up and dig in.
This sort of yielding applies to all areas of life. Trust God first, take a step, get out of His way – cast doubts to the wolves and know it all works out for my eternal good when I obey.
I realize, my biggest problem in life is doubt. It was and is easy to reframe things through my insecurity and fears and miss out on opportunities, avoid and alienate people I would otherwise learn so much from and kink up what God’s response is to what I’m asking God for. It is far too easy to get caught up in what I think is or should be which is informed by my own biases and limitations verses the big picture view that God has for my life and relationships. Its a constant practice, one that is aided by the question…how would love see this or respond to this?
It had to run this question through my mind over and over when I sat with an ex con who had raped his daughter but was now a minister (whose daughter has forgiven him and there relationship is restored) – Saul to Paul. AND I HAD TO ASK what things do I hold over people that are quite trivial in the scheme of things? Each one of them blocks the Lords love from being expressed through my life.
I truly believe with all my heart, that if God is central, the things that I thought would be tough, turn into victories and it was just my thinking making a mountain out of a mole hill. There is no perfect earthly path, person or opportunity. God works through me and you. We make it by positioning our dreams beneath the Lord — not over, and then taking steps to make them happen. (Not by forgetting I have dreams when it gets squirrely). They just don’t happen without stepping out on faith. I’m shown this again over and over. It takes faith, trust, humility, yielding, showing up, flexibility and a sense of adventure. Without these things, life stagnates, and fear boxes-in vision.
In the interviews I conducted last week of Jump Start ministries, the Lords hand in reducing the life sentences for those inmates who had fully submitted their lives to God and repented, was nothing short of miraculous. Over and over, the theme is: Satan takes someone farther than they ever thought they could go and through an opening during a time of confusion and weakness, everything is lost. In prison, the Lord is called out to and encounters their impassioned pleas for redemption. Against all odds – against all of Satans efforts to imprison them again with guilt, fear, anxiety, and doubt – each break out by trusting and obeying God, – finding true freedom and a new life in His Word. It’s one thing to think this can happen. It is something else, to live it out and to hear others testimonies. It’s potent.
I’m so blessed to be in contact with these testimonies daily. It reminds me that true change is not predicated on others ability to recognize it or social support but by the fruits produced after it happens. It is important to ask, “What is freedom”? There are multiple life sentences inmates who have found the answer. Those interviews to follow.
